1) disable udisks completely: needs to be done during compilation, so distribution dependent
2) always mount optical discs on insertion (there should be an option to do so somewhere in the settings)
3) patch solid udisks backend to NOT do advanced content probe at all
4) don't use kdes filedialogs at all
I currently try 4), as 1) results in a quite useless filemanager (can't mount external storage...), 2) means non-working eject button on the drive (last time I tested...), and 3) is too much work.
Anyone knows if there is a PPA for Ubuntu 12.04 that has this? The svn PPA has a outdated and unstable version for 12.04
Here's one. Perhaps you'll get better ones later, my creativity is kinda stuffed by the holiday eating.